Morning Musings
I love my quiet time in the morning.
Seems I wake up, more often than not with the FID’s. That’s: Fear Of Impending Doom. I don’t know why I seem to “come to” most days in this state, but, thank God (or Good Orderly Direction, or Source, or Universal Intelligence, or whatever you want to call it), I do know what to do about it.
Someone once wisely pointed out to me that when I want to develop a relationship with someone, I need to spend time with them. So I started with 5 minutes, and now it has become a lengthier morning ritual, to connect with, let’s call it, my Higher Self.
In this deliberate reflective time in the early morning I make some decisions about who I want to hand the reigns to today – my best self, or my worst self. Then I ask for the grace to do whatever that will take in this day. Then I listen. Well, I try to listen at least.
Seems to be helping. For the most part my addictions no longer own me. I seem, most days, to be able to step up to the plate to do my end of things. What I had prayed for was that my addictions be taken from me. What I got was the ability to take responsibility for the part of my process that I do have control over.
I believe that that IS the grace I sought.
Following are some of my thoughts about what has helped me manage my addictive nature. They are from my own experience, and I do not claim to have anyone’s answers other than my own. But, if you were to see into the way I live my life today vs. the 40 lb. overweight, raging bulemic, heavy smoking, couch potato whose friends did not think woud make her 30th birthday, you whould know that some kind of gradual miraculous processs has indeed taken place. Painfully slowly, I might add.
In my experience, there isn’t just one right answer or just one right tool, and any book that claims to have THE ANSWER for anyone but it’s author may be shortsighted. Especially if that one right answer doesn’t ask you to participate in the process of change. Every program and diet book brings different tools, and your right answer will likely be a compilation of the tools that you have found from your own experience work for you. I never found that quick fix, but I did eventually figure out this…the fix is me.
Can you make these changes in your life? The best predictor of your chances is that you are even reading this (or anything else like if for that matter). Because, the one piece of the puzzle that only you can provide is your desire. You gotta wanna. And since you are reading this, you are already demonstrating that you have that. After that, it’s mostly legwork.
The rest you can learn.
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