Record Keeping – An Exercise in Understanding, not Judgment

Jan 23, 2011

I never would have learned the value of keeping a food diary if it had been left up to me. Really, my hand was forced.  Thank goodness, since it has proved to be a surprisingly significant tool in helping me to get to the truth about my eating behaviors.  Man, can perception be off for a food addict (I speak for myself, of course).  Either I totally blow out of all proportion the least indiscretion (maybe so that I can use it as an excuse to continue, “I already blew it so…”), or I pretend to myself that I have just nibbled a few innocent bites when I have just strip-mined my whole kitchen to the tune of a day’s worth of calories or more.

In my thirties, I worked with a medically based health company that considered calorie knowledge and record keeping critical tools in the arsenal of anyone truly intending to practice long-term weight management.  It was politely “suggested” that we Behaviorists keep a food diary so that we would genuinely understand the benefit to our patients.  As the most eating disordered individual they had ever unknowingly hired, and yet the most successful calorie balancer on the entire staff, I naturally considered myself to be exempt from this Mickey Mouse exercise.  What did I need to learn?  So unwilling was I, that the Director actually assigned another staff member to supervise me in this effort and to review my diary.  I was incensed… and cornered.  The jig was up.

I’ll never forget the first truly outrageous meal that I ever captured on paper.  It was a breakfast brunch buffet at a training seminar in the Sheraton Hotel.  Actually, I was fairly reasonable…for me.  Although, in hindsight, I remember that I was so embarrassed to be caught by the President of the company “in the act” in the buffet line, that I slid my two loaded plates under the nearest chafing dishes while we chatted.  While I did under duress write down the food items that day, I couldn’t bear to face the actual calorie damage until I had starved the calories back off a week later, as was my best and only real weight management skill at the time.  (A quick aside: I don’t recommend this method of calorie balancing. A badly damaged digestive system is not the only price I have paid for failing to quickly acquire more effective skills.)

So what’s my point?  The kind of information I reluctantly gleaned that day has had a growing influence on me in the years to come.  I had spent approximately 7300 calories at that one buffet – frighteningly enough, not as hard to do as you might imagine.  Because I captured the information on paper, I could clearly see that fully 3500+ calories came from just two food items – butter and sausages (they’re heavy little guys).  I had always taken a certain defiant pride in having what I wanted the way I wanted it, successfully calorie balancing around my outrageous gluttony.  It had been worth it to me.  Not so, in this instance anyway. I could have had that buffet twice on that same trip for the “cost” of the one meal if I just didn’t butter everything that didn’t actually walk off my plate, and if I had switched to bacon.  Not such a huge sacrifice.

You see, it’s my budget.  Since my desired weight is a quantifiable number, from the standpoint of calories, I must ask myself, “Do I want this enough to give up something else for it?”  I get to decide what is and is not worth it to me, but the budget has to be balanced eventually.  A record makes this unavoidably clear.

Perceiving records as a way to beat ourselves up or get us to not eat only serves to make us balk at keeping them.  I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t need any more help in beating myself up.  Besides, that is really short-changing their value.  Records are an exercise in understanding, not judgment.  Clients of mine are usually surprised when I tell them that I’m not going to read their records.  Instead, I’m going to teach them how to read and use their food diary to better understand themselves, and to take responsibility for managing their budget based upon their own choices.

Begin your final weight loss journey now…